The conversation
Part 1
Girl in striped shirt: I was 21. I had just recovered from the disease of the mind, a disease that wraps itself so tightly over my whole self that there is no longer I, no longer anyone but that disease and the dark shadow that follows me everywhere.
Number 1: I was almost born. I almost existed and then you killed me.
Number 2: I had not the sparkle of life when it was extracted from me. Now I am in an empty white space. There is nobody here. I am alone and I am scared.
Number 3: I am the same as Number 2. I was imagining what it would be like living in your world and breathing the same air you breathe.
Girl in striped shirt: I'm sorry. There is nothing more I can say except I'm sorry. I didn't have the strength and I was a coward. I was afraid that I would be alone and all my hopes and dreams will come crashing down.
Number 1: It has already gone crashing down. I was wondering, if I was around, what will you call me?
Girl in striped shirt: I haven't thought of that. Are you a girl or a boy?
Number 1: I don't know. My soul is sexless.
Girl in striped shirt: Then I don't know either. I never gave it any thought because from the moment I found out about you everything inside was chaotic. I wanted to disappear.
Number 1: But why didn't you just go along with it, it gets better. I will never hurt you.
Girl in striped shirt: I was scared. I was unsure that you will be accepted. And I don't have the means.
Number 1: So what is it like for you now. How many have you had since me, number 2 and number 3?
Girl in striped shirt: None.
Number 1: Why not?
Girl in striped shirt: Because. Because I don't know if it is safe. If I ever try that just when I want it I will lose it.
Number 1: You're staying away from that experience just because you're afraid you might lose it? That's stupid.
Girl in striped shirt: I blew 3 chances. I'm out.
Girl in striped shirt: I was 21. I had just recovered from the disease of the mind, a disease that wraps itself so tightly over my whole self that there is no longer I, no longer anyone but that disease and the dark shadow that follows me everywhere.
Number 1: I was almost born. I almost existed and then you killed me.
Number 2: I had not the sparkle of life when it was extracted from me. Now I am in an empty white space. There is nobody here. I am alone and I am scared.
Number 3: I am the same as Number 2. I was imagining what it would be like living in your world and breathing the same air you breathe.
Girl in striped shirt: I'm sorry. There is nothing more I can say except I'm sorry. I didn't have the strength and I was a coward. I was afraid that I would be alone and all my hopes and dreams will come crashing down.
Number 1: It has already gone crashing down. I was wondering, if I was around, what will you call me?
Girl in striped shirt: I haven't thought of that. Are you a girl or a boy?
Number 1: I don't know. My soul is sexless.
Girl in striped shirt: Then I don't know either. I never gave it any thought because from the moment I found out about you everything inside was chaotic. I wanted to disappear.
Number 1: But why didn't you just go along with it, it gets better. I will never hurt you.
Girl in striped shirt: I was scared. I was unsure that you will be accepted. And I don't have the means.
Number 1: So what is it like for you now. How many have you had since me, number 2 and number 3?
Girl in striped shirt: None.
Number 1: Why not?
Girl in striped shirt: Because. Because I don't know if it is safe. If I ever try that just when I want it I will lose it.
Number 1: You're staying away from that experience just because you're afraid you might lose it? That's stupid.
Girl in striped shirt: I blew 3 chances. I'm out.
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