Wonder, wander.

It's bad and you know you should not have done it. It warps your judgement, it affects your emotions and it causes you to have doubts.

You should never have read all these relationship advice stuff in between work. Not when you are supposed to be happy and not pick a fight when you are celebrating something later on.

Maybe it's just you. Maybe you are just discontent with the world and living and are looking for a reason to exit.

You know you are not unhappy, you are not dissatisfied. Far from it. You just have a problem, and your problem is not something you can easily fix.

You are looking towards this person and hoping this person would help you. But he is human. And he cannot read your thoughts.

You wonder, and you wander.

You know you cannot change a person, their beliefs and their routines. You know there is nothing to gain from torturing yourself any further by hoping for a change.

The best step is backwards, a small one. To find yourself and be happy with that person again. And to tell yourself, you are important. You are someone.