28th birthday philosophies

Ok, I can't run away from this. I'm turning 28 in two frickin days, like it or not. Unless I die today or tomorrow then I'd have to face the music.

Have decided to not party on my birthday eve this year. Maybe go for a quiet dinner with the hubster and then to watch football somewhere. Don't want to get drunk and pass out and have stupid drunken pictures taken where I look like shit. It all seems a bit...boring now.

Anyway, have came up with a bunch of things to act on from now on, whether people like it or not. I'll call it my 28th birthday philosophies:

1. Bitchy remarks deserves bitchy retorts. Since bitchy remarks from other people almost always makes me feel like a total loser, I've decided to not smile and just bear it as I've always done. For example, if someone mentions that I've put on weight, I'm not going to get crushed or anything, I'll just say something equally nasty and below the belt as well.
   
2. People always complaining that they are fat (when they are actually skinny or slim) will just be told that they are fat. Haha, I know someone who does this a lot. Makes you feel like a frickin whale because you're actually eating and they're just having biscuits because they are "fat". So if they're fishing for compliments next time they're not gonna get it. They'll just be told: you're fat, your clothes don't fit, get a tent.
3. People always saying gleefully that other people (not celebs) are fat or ugly will just be asked if they are jealous they're not getting any sex lately. Hey, if you're always going to comment about some person I don't know being fat, I actually know people who have weight problems and they're very dear to me, so in a way, you're taking a dig at my loved ones too.
   
4. If you're saying things to make me look bad, I'll say things that will make you look bad. When I'm talking about things in general that is not personal, and then you have to say something that you think is funny but is also taking a dig at me at the same time - I'm going to say worse.
   
5. If you're racist I'm going to tell you that your shit stinks worse, or not speak to you ever again. Self explanatory.
6. Shopping is only going to make you go broke. I'm officially on a shopping diet. The only things that I will buy are necessities.
7. Advertising is a stupid, self-admiring industry and I shouldn't get too stressed out over it. Time to not feel bad or stressed out because the agencies (or sometimes the bosses) are making unreasonable, inhumane demands.
   

There're more (I think). Come back later when I've had my lunch.