Goodbye year of turbulence, hello year of happiness.
The year is wrapping up and the clock is winding down to its last hour of the year very very soon (in this part of the world at least), and I'm sitting here thinking, What a year it has been.
One thing that I have learned from 2012 is that life can change in a heartbeat (or a quiet buildup to that fateful heartbeat). And also that there is no such thing as unconditional love, not even with family. I have stopped looking for it. I have my beloved with me now, but is the love unconditional? Only time and life's hardships will tell.
I started out 2012 as a married woman, determined to make a crumbling marriage work (or at least ignore the problems til it goes away), and then within the same week in February, I was left by my husband, a day after my favourite band cancelled their Asia tour. Double whammy.
I suffered for a while, went on crazy rants and said dangerous things, and one day I just snapped and decided to close that book. It was however, prompted by an anxiety attack, which I originally thought was a heart attack. And after the heart specialist said there was nothing wrong with my heart, and despite the smoking it was as strong as it could be, I realised my problem was all in my head.
And so I decided to change it.
A week after I made that decision to close that book, I met the man who is now my beloved. God has incredible timing in this case.
Thanks to that blessing from God, I was made to feel blessed in this short period I have been with him. The first couple of months was a difficult period of adjustment, but we have always felt very comfortable and relaxed with each other.
It's funny, when I was planning on enjoying singledom this person walks into my life. And now I can't imagine life without him.
I'm glad he is a much more interesting person now, he is more of his real self, than from what he told me of himself before. Maybe it's true, it's who you spend your time with that shapes you.
And he has this calming effect on me, and just being near him is happiness. Indeed I have changed throughout the course of this year. I have learned to be a bit more patient, a bit more calm, a bit more mature, with a smattering of positivity on my outlook in life.
I have learned to survive without domestic help, I keep my place clean and neat all the time. I have learned to live in and appreciate the present. It is difficult, as I have this tendency to dwell in the past, but I have made progress.
I have forged a closer and a more appreciative relationship with my parents, though the ones with my siblings are not so good. Maybe when they are older, they will understand. And I hope 2013 will be a year for new beginnings in terms of friendships with my younger siblings.
I went on 2 beautiful beach holidays, a wonderful city shopping holiday and a short weekend getaway this year with my beloved. That's about it given the schedule at work, and I feel very happy and grateful to get away with him for those short periods of time. We had the best time when we're alone and far away from everyone else.
Thank you 2012 for showing me heartache, and showing me happiness. For this happiness is definitely sweeter after all that have happened.
Bring on 2013! And may it be a year when I can finally sit down and write. May it be full of happiness and blessings and a wondrous journey of self discovery. :)
One thing that I have learned from 2012 is that life can change in a heartbeat (or a quiet buildup to that fateful heartbeat). And also that there is no such thing as unconditional love, not even with family. I have stopped looking for it. I have my beloved with me now, but is the love unconditional? Only time and life's hardships will tell.
I started out 2012 as a married woman, determined to make a crumbling marriage work (or at least ignore the problems til it goes away), and then within the same week in February, I was left by my husband, a day after my favourite band cancelled their Asia tour. Double whammy.
I suffered for a while, went on crazy rants and said dangerous things, and one day I just snapped and decided to close that book. It was however, prompted by an anxiety attack, which I originally thought was a heart attack. And after the heart specialist said there was nothing wrong with my heart, and despite the smoking it was as strong as it could be, I realised my problem was all in my head.
And so I decided to change it.
A week after I made that decision to close that book, I met the man who is now my beloved. God has incredible timing in this case.
Thanks to that blessing from God, I was made to feel blessed in this short period I have been with him. The first couple of months was a difficult period of adjustment, but we have always felt very comfortable and relaxed with each other.
It's funny, when I was planning on enjoying singledom this person walks into my life. And now I can't imagine life without him.
I'm glad he is a much more interesting person now, he is more of his real self, than from what he told me of himself before. Maybe it's true, it's who you spend your time with that shapes you.
And he has this calming effect on me, and just being near him is happiness. Indeed I have changed throughout the course of this year. I have learned to be a bit more patient, a bit more calm, a bit more mature, with a smattering of positivity on my outlook in life.
I have learned to survive without domestic help, I keep my place clean and neat all the time. I have learned to live in and appreciate the present. It is difficult, as I have this tendency to dwell in the past, but I have made progress.
I have forged a closer and a more appreciative relationship with my parents, though the ones with my siblings are not so good. Maybe when they are older, they will understand. And I hope 2013 will be a year for new beginnings in terms of friendships with my younger siblings.
I went on 2 beautiful beach holidays, a wonderful city shopping holiday and a short weekend getaway this year with my beloved. That's about it given the schedule at work, and I feel very happy and grateful to get away with him for those short periods of time. We had the best time when we're alone and far away from everyone else.
Thank you 2012 for showing me heartache, and showing me happiness. For this happiness is definitely sweeter after all that have happened.
Bring on 2013! And may it be a year when I can finally sit down and write. May it be full of happiness and blessings and a wondrous journey of self discovery. :)
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