Goodbye dungeon

There's another chapter in my life I have just recently closed - the one that puts food on the table. After five and a half years being in the same place, last month I decided to hand in my resignation.

Imagine, I have never done that ever! Not in that five years, not to threaten for a raise, not to do that in light of other options. There are always other options if one looks for it, I believe. I had let the dungeon suck the life out of me and resigned to going with the flow.

One of my flaws is that, precisely, going with the flow. See where it takes me. I never plan, I just jump in and hope for the best. In this case, it sort of worked out for a few years. I stayed and I learned.

From a place that had 3 producers, they downscaled to one (me), and after that period of 2 years being alone at the job, I decided I had had enough. I was never growing any younger and I cannot let life's opportunities and adventure slip away.

Nonetheless, it was an interesting adventure, full of ups and downs. I have felt the elation of a project well done and the appreciation that comes with it, and I have felt the despair of small office politics and the clash between the bosses and the downturn. I have felt happiness from getting hugs and thank yous from the clients, and I have felt the brunt and desperation of late payments from them as well.

When I first joined, coming from an ad agency background, AV producer to be precise (which I loathed by the way), I simply had no knowledge of how photography production works. A friend who introduced me to the studio's owners told me, it's much easier than producing tvcs but your boss will be tough to work with. (By the way, pretty much all the jobs in that industry is sourced through word of mouth and recommendations. Do your job well, make friends, people remember you, and you get in).

I remember one of the earliest shoots I produced was a coffee table book project by the Queen at the time, involving the evolution of songket. That was an interesting project, as we were given pretty much free rein by the publishers to came up with the creative concepts. It was a fun and exhausting, although drama ensued as usual (as with many projects of course).

The photographer didn't elaborate on the concepts references, which I didn't like, but I kept my mouth shut. One day, the model didn't perform, the photographer gave her a tough time, and the next day, she just didn't show up. Had to replace her with another model at the last minute. And then there was the issue of the fashion designers being unhappy with the choice of models and some concepts.

The publisher decided to go ahead with our concept and choice of models, because after all, everyone involved was commissioned to do their specific parts I suppose. It's hilarious because it's like an ego competition between all these creative people. But gotta say, the results were beautiful, and the team got to meet the Queen and photograph her in the istana.

There were many other projects, some too sour for the memory, like working again with this ad agency for this particular project and they were just being themselves by giving everyone a hard time about every single thing. Down to how the deck was presented. There's that.

And then there was that telco that kept rejecting the talents, and we eventually had to fly down all the talents from other countries. And they kept rejecting the wardrobe, and ended up choosing the most boring options.

There was the time when I got to stay in one of the best and nicest hotels in Penang, 3 times (they gave us different rooms / suites to "try" during the course of our work). Gotta say, every time I go to Penang now that is the first place I will want to book.

I have met celebrities, superstars, and I have met the people behind them who make these celebs and stars more difficult than they actually are. I knew who are the nice and disciplined ones, and met the fusspots and those who could not be on time. There are celebs and stars who will remember you the next time they see you, and then there are those who won't. But for all that time, I have only taken pictures with only 3 of them. One is a footballer, one is a very famous singer and another is a young singer who is now in the USA. I suppose it's hard to feel affected and impressed when you have lived with a famous person and you have worked with many.

I have been lost, I have carried heavy things, I have tried desperately to look for props, I have graduated into creating more comprehensive decks for presentation, and I have discovered street smarts and toughness I never knew I had. For a pampered child the past five years was definitely an eye opener. I have learned to be confident and speak up. I have learned to speak to those whom I do not know. I have learned about service and efficiency.

I have learned about people I otherwise would never have come across in a different line of work. I have learned to get along well and speak with the Chinese educated ones, to understand what they are like and where they came from. It's a good social understanding I think. I have learned to work among men (there were only 4 females in that studio at the time I left), and discovered they are much easier to work with in regards to some matters (sorry ladies). However, women are more efficient though prone to drama.

It's all a beautiful experience, despite my unhappiness with a few things. I hope by finally taking the step towards a change, my luck will turn around. I do need to work in a place where I will feel a different challenge, and finally use the qualifications, learning and skill I have for the better.

I am going to start working in June, while I search for my true calling. There is much I need to learn, as I have never been in the corporate / marketing field before. A change of industries and scope of work is pretty damn scary, but as my quarter says..you just take it as starting a new school. You could throw me now as a producer anywhere, I will survive easily, but if there is no progress in that industry, why should I?

Wish me luck.