Reflecting
I just skimmed through what I wrote in some of my old posts, and I wanted to slap myself (in the face, with a helmet). Seriously, I could be so annoying. Passionately opinionated, but annoying. Isn't that a way to describe such people?
I am now 30, and as if I have crossed some sort of imaginary threshold between being an annoying brat in her twenties to a proper "adult" (ahem), I have calmed down somewhat. I look back and I can laugh, shake my head and wonder, why must I be so stubborn? Why must I be so argumentative? Why must I be right all the time?
There is still that side of me in the depths of my abdomen and twitching face (twitching because I'm itching to say something to refute, etc). After all, like someone dear said to me once, you cannot really alter your DNA. It is something that makes me who I am.
But as I grow older, even though I am the same person, I cannot NOT grow and be stuck in that bratty phase. If there's a need to mellow down pill from the angst, the seething rage, the contempt and mistrust for people in general, I do need it.
There will always be people who will be horrible to you, there will always be assholes. There will always be clients who ruin your dates and weekends and public holidays, and make you miss important life events. There will always be people who will break your heart, just as there will always be people who will mend it and love you more than you will ever know.
But all this is not a reason to be angry, to lose trust and hope. Well at least that's what I'm trying to tell myself anyway. It will be a difficult way to go, but I can get used to it.
I am now 30, and as if I have crossed some sort of imaginary threshold between being an annoying brat in her twenties to a proper "adult" (ahem), I have calmed down somewhat. I look back and I can laugh, shake my head and wonder, why must I be so stubborn? Why must I be so argumentative? Why must I be right all the time?
There is still that side of me in the depths of my abdomen and twitching face (twitching because I'm itching to say something to refute, etc). After all, like someone dear said to me once, you cannot really alter your DNA. It is something that makes me who I am.
But as I grow older, even though I am the same person, I cannot NOT grow and be stuck in that bratty phase. If there's a need to mellow down pill from the angst, the seething rage, the contempt and mistrust for people in general, I do need it.
There will always be people who will be horrible to you, there will always be assholes. There will always be clients who ruin your dates and weekends and public holidays, and make you miss important life events. There will always be people who will break your heart, just as there will always be people who will mend it and love you more than you will ever know.
But all this is not a reason to be angry, to lose trust and hope. Well at least that's what I'm trying to tell myself anyway. It will be a difficult way to go, but I can get used to it.
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